What makes me happy, you ask? Holy fucking shit. I give up! Why must you have asked such a difficult question? :/
But, women. Women makes me happy. Haha! I’m totally, absolutely kidding. On a more serious note this is really a tough question. I don’t think I know what makes me happy at the moment. Maybe I don’t even know how it feels to be happy. I’m always just content with life. Though, I can say music makes me happy. Literally. I’m even going to a lounge tomorrow all by myself because Estiva (and Juventa his buddy), one of my favorite DJ’s, is coming to town and no one I know of is going. I need better friends.. But I’m going to have one hell of a time all by myself because listening to beautiful music makes me happy. Hell, I’ll probably even cry after the first 5 minutes. Traveling? Looking forward to meeting awesome new people and exploring beautiful Mother Nature as well? I guess you can say I’m not quite sure what makes me happy but one day, I’ll eventually find all the things that makes me happy. For now, I guess it’s just these things. Maybe there is something that makes me happy but I don’t know.
have i ever loved someone, yes, i have, not too long ago. how does it feel? it feels like everything you’d ever dream of and so much more, it feels like the calm of listening to the rain tap on your windows, it feels like the 5 am sunrise in you favorite place, it feels like butterflies in your belly, it feels like you’re dreaming because it seems way too good to be reality, it feels like you could conquer anything and everything, its one of the best feelings I’ve ever experienced. how did i know it was real? i knew it was real because, everything that happened to me i couldn’t wait to tell her every little detail, when i woke up in the morning the first thing i wanted to do was roll over and see her absolutely beautiful face, calm and sleeping, one of the best sights I’ve ever seen, falling asleep in her arms, it felt like i couldn’t be safer anywhere else. i knew it was real because it felt so raw, every emotion. i knew it was real because when i looked at her i saw the world, i saw my future, my wife, my life. i knew it was real because she meant everything to me and i give up everything i had if it meant having one more day with her. how much did it hurt? it still hurts to this day, our song comes on and i cry, i see pictures of us and i want it back, i wish for the memories, for the way that things were, i wish or the days where we just laid in each others arms and nothing else matters, i still cry myself to sleep sometimes, it still feels like my heart is broken, it feels like I’m empty, and that something is missing and i know thats because she’s no longer in my life. i don’t look at the sunset the same, or starry nights, or snow days, i don’t listen to the same music, or love the color green, i don’t like to look into peoples eyes bc i compare them to how her beautiful brown eyes looked. so to answer your question how much did it hurt? more than you’ll ever know, but its the only kind of hurt worth going through.